Moving on
by shortstory13
Summary: Alex and maggie were together for two years but they brokeup . now maggie is convinced that she is moved on and having a date.but is she really moved on. (I am not very good at summaries). Alternate universe.
1. chapter 1

Place -coffee shop

It is a typical coffee shop, not a big one .This place have those round coffee table with stool by sides.Walls have big posters of different boy bands from 90s backstreet boys to 2000s nysnc to latest one direction.the owner Julian is a big fan of all boy bands .Some posters of quotes and other artist. This place is filled with all different kind of music artist , I guess Julian wants to become aspiring music artist but something happened .she really doesn't talk about it much.

It used to my favourite place well ,one of my favourite place, this place is not far from my apartment.Nearly 10 min drive , i used come here very often at least once a day even though I don't really like coffee.But this place offer other beverages also like tea cappuccino, latte and one of my favorite the blueberry muffin. But those weren't the reason I used to come here , it was because of my girlfriend.she loved this place.It was our go to place . That was one of the reason why after breakup I stopped coming here .you know the same story, the thing we used to do together I stopped doing them , places we used to go together I stopped going there .so this is one of that example.

But not today cause today I have date .first in 6 months (yipeey).after going through different stages of grieving ,crying ,what if ,maybe she will come back .i have finally decided to stopped whining and start taking control of my life, which is moving on.

So here I am standing in the front door of the coffee shop.This coffee shop looks familiar but still somehow strange. its funny how fast things change .This place used to come on my top ten list now i dont even talk about it.So thats why today i choose this place, its step first on my"take control of your own life" list,my friend jessica told me to go somewhere else but no because it is time to move on.

But still I have this strange feeling in my back of my mind. Just something doesn't feel right, anyway i push that feeling down and get inside and sit on the one stool around the coffee table in straight line of site of shop door.

WAITRESS COME TO ME .(I know her. Oh yes she is mary.)

"oh hey i haven't seen you here in a while .where did you go on a trip or something" mary said teasingly.

"Oh hey mary no no, i was here in the city" i replied.(physically but mentally I was in HELL).she looked at me suspiciously.

" okk so should I bring you your regular and hey is alex coming? I havent seen her either. should I bring her regular too?"mary said looking delighted.

" no just bring me my regular .she is not coming, we kinda broke up well not kinda we clearly broke up.6 months ago."i said not looking at her face but my hands. i hate to tell people about my breakup. I am not comfortable, because after that they give me a condolencing look which i hate .

(see when I told you how familiar I am with this coffee shop it wasn't just that i come here often.its like every one knows about everyone here which means they know about me and alex but they don't know about breakup.Now they do.)

"oh honey what happened, you guys were amazing.i am so sorry"she said consoling me.

(at that moment different kind of emotion was coming through my mind including regret, annoyance,anger.thats why i dont like talking about it.But before I can answer.)

A WOMAN ENTER THE SHOP.SHE ASKED SOMETHING FROM LADY BY THE COFFEE MACHINE, AND LADY POINTS TO ME.

"hey I am amy!(yeah she exclaimed her name which shows her excitement)she extended her right hand towards me.

" oh hi ...i am maggie"i replied with a smile and take her hand. I started taking notes on every thing.

(this women is tall nearly 5.6 inch.black hair long. She was wearing a red top with tight black jeans .fair skin.first impression -she is beautiful and energetic well that's comes handy right?)

She sits and put her purse at the table,give mary a smile. Mary looked at me and then at amy. And then its like she finally understood that i was on a date.Now mary looked not so amused.

"what can I bring Ms amy?" (well I am not a face reader but I can tell she was little annoyed by amy, cause she usually is very pleasant with customers.)

Looking at the menu which wasn't big.

"ahhhmmm !I think... I don't know...oh boy there are so many choices...( she is infuriating Mary more.)

"just pick fast!"mary said( yepp she is clearly annoyed)

"okkk... I will have a coffee. " amy said .

MARY START WALKING TOWARDS THE COUNTER.

"oh can I have blueberry muffin also.( my favourite. Thats good right. she said that sweetly)

"yes you can my dear" she replied also giving me look(yepp. sarcasm was cleary there .she was clearly pissed .environment of place is kinda hot and hostile. I am starting to have second thoughts about my favourite place now).

(I was awkwardly looking between Mary and Amy.i don't know why Mary was pissed. Is it because I didn't told her about breakup.maybe? )

"wow this place looks very nice but I guess people are not that nice."she said looking at the poster and pointing at mary.

"oh no Mary is really nice .something is wrong with her today I don't know .maybe she is on her period or something.(ohh boy did I just said her period .she is glaring at me)

Awkward silence.( do something say something.)

"mary. so you know her name .you come here often(change the topic nice save .she is smart)

"yes very often .its very near from where I work and my apartment."

"oh that's nice, you place is also nearby."

"only 7 blocks from here" i replied.

Silence again.

"so you look beautiful by the way." I said in an attempt to starg a conversation.

She is smiling( yepp compliment her.

" oh thanks. You also look beautiful.(counter compliment. Okkay).

Silence.we both staring at the wall and outside. I am getting more nervous by this silence . ( say something, anything)

"so tell me about yourself.how long you have been living here.what are your hobbies. Do you like cooking or singing(okk that's one of my bad habits I ramble when I am nervous).

"wow you have lot of question.(I smiled stupidly).

"sorry" i said flustered.

"well I grew up in kansas.My dad have a family business there.i came to this city 5 years ago.i do know cooking but nothing fancy. how about you?"

"oh me.. Well I came to city for college.then I did my graduation and phd here , then got job here at the university, so i am here for a quite sometime now. "

"ohh! So you are professor that's great .you must be very intelligent".she said teasingly.

"huh.? What.yes .i mean I dont know?"i replied with a dumbfounded smile at the comment.

There was silence again.

"Honeslty i have never done blind dating before, and also i dont make good first impression.i am not just very comfortable" i said breaking the silence and now looking a little embarrassed.

"Oh wow me too . this is my first time too"

" okkay now i dont know i am more or less relieved to know that"i said jokingly. She laughed.

"And hey,dont worry about first impression. I think you made a good one." she said looking me in the eye. Is she flirting with me?. I noticed her eyes colour for the first time. They were little black but looks like littke brown,beautifull.

I smiled back at her.

(The talk become a little more comfortable.

After that we talked for half hour .it was going nice.she seems like a nice person. She told me about her family and job).

Our talk was interrupted when someone enters the shop. I didnt see who but , i got a strange feeling, the same i got when i was at the coffee shop gate.i looked in that direction and guess who it was , you are right alex.)

(She comes to counter to Mary, who seems very pleased and happy to see her.i can see her from back. she is wearing that top which is one of my favourite , blue jeans and boots.she is looking beautiful, and I hate that. she cut her hair short around neck length ,which suits her and again I hate that. They are talking about something which i cant hear and now she looks in my direction. she sees me , ours eyes meet and i noticed that there are dark circle around them, between all this Amy in front of me is still talking about something which I have no idea.)

Alex comes to my table .

"hi Maggie" . its been while since i heard her voice.

she waves to me.

"oh ... Hi...hlo"i mutter but still not losing the eye contact.

Amy is looking between us .

"what are you doing here .are you back in town." I asked

"yes .i just came yesterday.I am staying with kara". She replied.

"that's greeeeeat" (that came squeaky

A lot of thoughts are coming in my mind . what is alex doing here .why her eyes looking like she has been crying.

"hi I am alex"she said stopping my train of thoughts.

"oh sorry. Alex meet...( I forgot her name.thats great. kill me now , please kill me).

Women in front of me-" amy"

"nice to meet you amy" Alex replied smiling awkwardly.

( oh god! thing couldn't get worse.i literally put my feets in my mouth.)

There is now silence again.

" Alex and I used to date."i feel like i have to explain this awkardness.

"ohhh that's..." amy said now looking between me and alex and understanding the situation.

"how are you Maggie? ".She said that biting her lower lip.(she do that when she is nervous or flirting. Is she flirting with me in front of my date . no no that can't be right. Maybe she is just nervous. she does that without knowing but ofcourse i notice it.

God that is still sexy . why is she doing that.)

"I am fine .why wouldn't I be fine.there is no reason for me whatsoever to be nothing else but fine."i again started rambling.

"okkkay" alex said.

Awkward silence .( I am having kind of many emotions at the same time so I cannot control them individually.i dont know that i am happy or pissed to see her.)

"Alex what are you doing here.you were supposed to be in Seattle"(that came a little harsh).

"oh i am sorry.i am here because ahmmm...jon offered me my last job back with a promotion so i came back For That." She said ( I think she is lying and why is she apologisinghe she here because she want to get back together. Is she back for me?)

" for me"i said and regretted as soon as those word came out of my mouth. ( i know she said THAT. My ear heard that but my brain translated that into me .

Silence.

"no ... for the job."she replied looking me in the eye. We kept staring at each other. Alex is here. Why would she lie? There is no reason for her to lie about it unless..

" okk I gotta go .i have a thing with kara, and then have laundry to do and also have some other stuff.

"okay we got it, you are busy"i replied candidly.

"okk byee".alex replied hastly pointing to amy)

And with that she left. SHE LEFT

( I keep looking at the door until she disappeared .That strange feeling in my gut come again.she left.

I don't remember much after what happened after that, but amy was saying something but i didnt understand a word.

She got that I wasn't listening to her .

"are you here?" She said waving her hand in front my eyes.

"oh yes I am sorry .i am little distracted.its actually the first time I saw her after the break up.and the first time I come to this coffee shop after the break up." I said with a smile.

"wow you have lot of first today."

"yeah yeah ... i just realized that. God that's really weird.

"yes it actually is .okk you know what I gotta go. I have early meeting tomorrow.I have great time today "( I think she is lying )

"yeah me too .oh no not meeting, but the great time part.byee."( I am lying that's for sure)

"okkkay byeee... "She said picking her purse and then she left.Now it was official that was the worst date of my life and it could have been a good date .

( I heard my phone ringing)

Jessica- hey how is the date going.

Me- couldn't be better!

Jessica - Am I hearing sarcasm.?

Me- yepp(she knows me very well).she just left.

Jessica- already?

Me- yes.. God I just hate this.you know i hate everything about dating and and and.. i hate every thing.

Jessica- what happened ? you know what say no more .meet me in your apartment in 10min.i have got ice cream

Me-okkay.. (she knows what exactly I need and when)

i got up. mary gave me apologitical smile, i smiled back.

I start walking towards my apartment.But in my mind I can only think about her.

Its been six months.i thought that I have moved on , didn't I?but today on seeing her those stupid feeling came rushing in .Does she is also having second thought about breakup. is thats why she is back in the city?what are the chances that she came to coffee shop at the same day as I was having my first date . "please stop watching those stupid romcom and reading Nicolas sparks novels"i told myslef.what do I do?I am going crazy(i am talking to myself) i am definitely going crazy.

Note:My first fanfictiin . please leave a comment to let me know if you guys want me to continue it.


	2. The conversation

**The conversation**

Place-Maggie apartment.

I am standing at my apartment door lost in my thoughts.

why Alex was there she knew that there was great chance that I will be there too.i know that it was her favourite place maybe she didn't thought that I will go there after breakup .i even don't know why i choose that place for my date. But what the hell she is doing back in the city .she wasn't happy here she told me that herself. she left it and me).

i was questioning everything and every thought of mine, that i even didn't see Jessica coming behind me.

" miss !back to reality."

jessica is not very tall. she is 5.4 inch ,hair black straight,blue eyes .fair skin,slim figure.

" oh thank god you are here.you would not believe what happened with me today?"

(that should have never happened)

"are you gonna tell me the whole story on the door , or you gonna let us in ,these ice cream are melting really fast."

"oh sorry"

i start looking in my purse for keys and opened the door. we both put our keys and purse on the counter.i moved to kitchen to brings us drinks and spoons for the ice cream.we sat on couch in the hall .the apartment has one bedroom,kitchen,small hall and washroom around the corner.it was nice for one person,it wasn't that big ,so when me and Alex got together this place start looking more smaller.but it felt like home,our home.i thought that maybe Alex will move in one day or we can look for bigger apartment together you know for two person or a family but we broke up before that happened.

"hey tell me what happened"she said looking at me in a amusement.

"oh yes... so I was having really great date"

(I was lying.she saw that)

"okk not great but it nice , and then Alex came in the coffee shop." Her eyes went wide .

" wait a sec.you mean your alex " she asked .

"yes and she is not mine(not any more)

" wait what she is doing back in the city?"

"she said jon offered her job with promotion.she came here yesterday. "

" you talked to her" she nearly secremed.

" she came to me.i didn't go to her"i said defending myself.

"whaaat!she came to talk to you."

"yes.i saw her at the door .then she saw me and came to my table."

"then what happened?"

I think she is really enjoying this.

"then she asked me how was I.i said I am fine...and then I forgot my date name.(I said last sentence in a hurry)

"What did you say in the ending? You forgot your date name in front of her."she said with a pointed eyebrow.

"yeahh..(that was not one of my proudest moment)i said stretching the back of my head.

"does it mean something? "

"what do you mean." I asked.

"Maybe She was there for a purpose" she said in a wierd voice.

"Yeah a purpose of having a coffee" i said like people say duhhh.

" no no think about it , i mean you were having your first date after so many months in that coffe shop for the first time after the breakup and Alex danvers comes to same place at the same time, that is hell of coincidence".(she watches those romcoms a lot). She pauses for a second.

"wait a second , if you think about it wasn't that unlikely because if i were her and I want to "accidentally run into you" in the city that will be the first place to go but the question is did she came to coffee shop on purpose or it was just and accident. "she said accidentally with air quotes.

"maybe that or there is a possibility that she just came for coffee and you are reading into things way to much.you should stop watching those chick flicks." I said in a breath although i was having the same thoughts.

"okaaay wohh...slow down (she was practically jumping on the couch from either shock or excitement I don't know),

(she then takes a deep breath.we both remain quiet for few seconds and she speaks again).

"i don't know what to say man.I mean your ex comes back in town,runs into you,and even talks to you.all in the same day when you decide to go on a date."

"I know!"i said patting at her shoulder.

"so what you are gonna do now?"

"what ? "

"I mean she is back. are you gonna talk to her again if she runs into you, or just ignore her."

"I really don't know .god I just hate this. really i mean I am finally moving on... (maybe if i will say this enough it will become true.)

"and its like seeing her today god..."

"seeing her today what? "She asked

( seeing her today made me realized that I wasn't over her .god I just hate that she still have that much effect on me, that she is still in my mind .i was pushing her memories deep in my mind like they never existed but it was hard ,really hard cause most of the good memories of mine are with her .for the last few months I convinced myself that I can forget her,Jessica told me that I wasn't over her yet and that I shouldn't go to this date either but I told her to move on I have to start new, start fresh but obviously I didn't do a good job as much as I convinced myself that I did and now seeing her today my feelings for her proved Jessica right . now what can i do .just because she is back here doesn't mean she want to get back together,but now that I know that she is here just made it more difficult to move on)

"nothing...

( I was quiet but she got that what I was thinking.)

"I told you not to go on a date yet. "she was giving me that'i told you look '

"I know what told me( I said that harshly).but its been six months .six freaking months.what am I supposed to do? .just wait for her to come back."

( I was screaming cause I was so angry at alex ,at life but above all I was angry at myself)

"I never said to wait for her .i just think that you are not yet ready to date again.you are not over her ".

"I am over her okkaayyyy."

(I said that way too loud,I don't know I was convincing Jessica or myself.)

"fine .okkay you are over her." She said by giving folding her arms at her chest.

( We both got quiet. this was getting more and more frustrating. She got up moved to kitchen . open the fridge and pulled a water bottle and then came back to couch hand it over to me.i drank water took a deep breaths .my anger went down a little)

"I am sorry..."

(she knew that I wasn't angry at her. she took my hand into her and rubbed my back,that made me relaxed a bit more.)

" will you stay here tonight with me .I don't want to be alone."

"yeah ofcourse sweety."

(she gave me a reassuring smile).

"come here"

(she come closer and hugged me.i hugged her back.i was glad that at least some people will always be by my side no matter what).

After few minutes.

" thankyou"i said

( i told her but before she can answer her phone rang )

"its your brother"

(she got up from the couch.)

"yeahh sweety I am with Maggie ...yes she is okkayy yes ...oh and I am staying with her tonight...no she is fine...nothing happened...I will tell you whole story tomorrow.. ...okkay good night...yes I love you too...gunnie...

She came back to couch . we remained there for a while.

(I met Jessica in college. She and I were good friends there.but after college we become inseparable when we became roommates.we went through many things together from silly haircut to stupid matching tattoos, to bad relationship. she met my brother Jackson on one thanksgiving when she came to my home. at that time both of them had a small crush on each other but they never took that seriously. but after years of going through meaningless sex and meeting wrong people and bad breakups they finally decide to give it a chance, when Jackson moved to this city . at that time they both were finally single, I set them up for date which went great and they started dating, and now they are together for three years .both of them couldn't be more happy .they have one of the most healthiest relationship that I know of.I was kinda jealous of them until I met Alex.but now again I am back where I started.

(she pulled me back from my thoughts).

"do you wanna watch movie .we can watch your favourite iron man .what do you say whole trilogy in one night.( she was trying to cheer me up)

Me- oh yeah sure why not (maybe that will take my mind of these stupid thoughts)

( she got up to pick up my laptop.and start looking for movie).we both snuggled together in the couch.

But I was really tried and fast asleep halfway through the first part.


	3. The breakup

The breakup

Flashback

Place-Alex apartment

I knocked the door twice. No answer. Then i saw that the door was opened. I came in and saw alex looking at envelope in .I moved to sit on the couch next to her.

"what's that".i said looking at an envelope.

She handed me envelope.

" read it yourself" she said .

"What is it"i said looking at it .

" just open it"she replied with pleading eyes.

I tear the side of the envelope and pulled a letter.i slowly open it .I started reading the letter.she looked at me , trying to read my expression and hands in prayer.

"its a job letter.you got it . yeah thats a great news " i said excitedly and kissing her cheeks.

"Congrats babe. You finally got it.you applied it for like ages ago" i said

"I know its a big company there are not much vacancy."

"but there is nothing like my girl cant get right".i said

"yes.but there is a catch. You didnt read the whole letter. Did you" she asked

"Nope. But whatever it is babe.you should get this job.this is what you always wanted.you deserve this ".i smiled

"I know. this is great opportunity for my career.i can have both my research and job at the same time.

"yeah.so what's the catch"I said putting my hands on her shoulder..

"its in Boston"she said taking my hands in hers.The smile on my face was now gone.

" Boston. Like in boston"i said asking stupidly.

"I know this is in other city but it is great opportunity for me you know.".she said reassuring me now.

"yeah babe I know that.but that mean you have to move there"i said

We both got quiet.

"unless you move there with me".she said like she had a million dollar idea.I looked at her blankly.

"okay .listen to this, I have all planned out.okay. My friend Christy works at boston university and i found that it has a job opening for the same post you work.you can interview for that post , and if you get the job we both can move there.you can teach there,right!and my friend lives there so she knows all about the city.we can find the apartment . we can move in together.you know just like we always talked about you and me"she said exicedly in a breath.

"okay slow down... Woah.. ".i said looking with a shock in my face. Her.when did she even planned all this.

" I am sorry.you cannot move there.you live here.your brother live here.i am crazy."she said looking down to her hands.Her excitement went down.

I looked at her.alex applied for this job many times but almost didnt get it. It was like her dream job.I felt sorry.this job was very important for alex. She prepared for it for it very hard. I thought to myslef, Atleast i can give the interview. atleast i tried from my side.

I looked at her.

"and what if I want to".I said

"Really"she looked at me with puppies eyes.

"why not .i mean I will give this interview first...

"I love you so muchhhh.you are the best girlfriend ever"she didn't even let me complete my sentence and Kissed me.now practically dancing on the couch. I looked at her smiling.

"I know its a lot to ask .you give this interview if you get the job then only we will move there".she said

She was now jumping on the couch,and then started talking about the famous things of Boston and places we can visit. i gave her a look .

"You know what we shouldn't get so excited first .you give interview than we can talk about further details. You know one step at a time".

So the next week I went to Boston university for the interview.this was clearly better place to work .the campus was bigger.staff was also better.but I don't why I wasn't that excited to be here. I gave the interview anyway which went really well.But wasn't sure about getting the job but after 2 days I got the letter that I got the job.Alex was really happy actually more happy then me .everything she wished for was coming true.we were moving in 3 weeks.

I was sitting in my couch watching friends on TV .alex came in.i muted the volume.

" hey babe".her voice was very cheerful.

She put the keys on the counter, then sat next to me on couch, and gave me kiss on the lips.

" hey yourself.you are looking really cheering for this evening"

"yes why wouldn't I be .i am moving to the great city and having a great job and the most amazing girlfriend in the world.I love you so much.you know that right"

" I know".I said it like it was a known fact.

"no really.what did i do to deserve you"she said kissing my cheeks.

" you are really god in bed maybe thats the reason"i said jokingly.

" no seriously, you have been so supportive of my decision and instantly decide to move there with me."

" because I love you".I kissed her once again.she smiled into it.

"its you and me".

" yes.always you and me".i repeated.

I kissed her forehead and smiled.she got up and went to washroom.I thought to myself,i have better job,the perfect girlfriend and now we are going to live together.that's I always wanted.But why i wasn't that jumpy as i was supposed to be.why wasn't I as cheerful as Alex was.

I looked towards tv screen.It was that episode in which Monica and chandler search for new house.But others are not happy about it, so then a scene comes in which ross says" but going there means you have to leave here , and I mean how can you leave this place?"

That dialogue hit me. I got a tear in my eye. No doubt that the job in Boston was better than here.But leaving Jessica and Jackson .how can I leave them they were my family.this city have gave me my everything,for the last 8 years this city has became my home how can leave all of this behind.how can I leave this place.

Alex came from washroom.I changed the channel.

"hey what are you watching"

"nothing" i said

"okkkaaaay"she looked at me suspiciously.

"we can watch a movie" i said diverting her attention from me.

She snatched the remote from my hand, start flipping through channel.Then stopped on scream 4.

I got up and moved to kitchen and got us popcorn and beers from fridge.

Halfway through the movie.she was on her back and I was curled to her side.she was stroking my hair lightly.

" Boston can be my home too.maybe this will be great.you are just sad about moving.At some point you have to leave your comfort zone and move forward in life."I told myself.I looked towards Alex.she was sleeping now.she was so beautiful and peaceful.I kissed her lips and pulled her closer now we both were cuddling."maybe this isn't so bad".i assured myself.

For the next week I started packing stuff.the more I was putting my stuff in the boxes the more I became reluctant to the idea of moving .Slowly my sadness turned into annoyance.I became more and more moody and angry .I started picking fights with Alex on small issues .Alex just didn't say anything and tried to just ignored them.

Two days before our flight to Boston Kara and jessica and some of our friends threw us a farewell party at Alex apartment .first I said that I didn't want to go ,i lied that i wasn't feeling well.Jessica came to pick me up.But after fighting with her I send her away.When she went ,I felt really bad, so when Alex came to pick me up.I went with her reluctantly.But at party I was again in all bitchy mood.I drank a lot .then when I became all drunk I started passing hurtful comment on the gift brought by our friends.Jessica stopped me,Alex didn't say anything cause she didn't want to start a fight.

Next morning i woke up in alex bed.i had a bad hangover.she left me a note saying she went for some stuff.I went to my place as I still got some packing to do.

That night as all my things were in boxes with label.I looked around in my apartment and again felt pain in my heart.This was the place where Jessica and I used to live together before she moved in with my brother.I had so many memories from this apartment.This city has given me so much. My whole life was build here.I learned everything here.All my friends , my students were here.

I was lost in thoughts that I didn't hear Alex coming in.

"what's going on".she said in her authoritive voice.

"what i am just finishing packing"i said not looking at her.

"something is wrong with you. Since last week you are becoming more and more like a pregnantal hormone hyper lady with moods swings .What's going on in your mind."she said hands folded at her chest.

"I am fine.nothing is going on"

"so why were you behaving like that yesterday at that party"

"I told you I wasn't in mood for party and after that i was kinda drunk" i replied.

"that's was a small get together that Kara and Jessica had arranged,a small farwell .You don't want to say goodbye to them".she asked her voice got a little high.

"no I don't want to say goodbye to anyone.but I guess, i have to because of you".I said accusingly.

"what is that supposed to mean"she said

"it means that I don't want to leave this place.okk I don't want to leave Jessica ,Jackson or my friends or my job.i don't want to leave "i almost shouted.

"why didn't you say that before"she said defensively.

"what am I supposed to say when you have planned everything already even before I said yes to anything "

"what are you talking about.you also wanted to move to Boston with me"

" only because you want me to. this whole thing was your idea.i was just saying yes so that ,this doesnt fall apart "I said gesturing between her and me. "You and me"

" don't talk like you were some confused teenager, and I tricked you into doing drugs or something.i asked you about this".her voice got louder.

"I don't want to leave"I nearly screamed.my voice echoed in room as it was nearly empty.

We both got silent.its like truth hit us both now.what this all mean for us. I sat on the floor feeling defeated. She was still standing near the door.after few moments She came closer to me and sat next to me.there were tears in both of our eyes.I scooped closer to her.she put her arms around me.we both started sobbing.we held each other. after few minutes silence.

"so you don't want to move to Boston".she asked.

I didn't say anything as i was afraid of the reply she might give me after that.

"its okk".

We remained like that .this silence was comfortable. after few more minutes she took her phone out of her pocket and start looking through her music gallery.after choosing Ed sheeran "perfect" she got up and offered her hands to me.

"dance with me"

I took her hand. And we start dancing.her both hands was around my waist.mine were around her neck. bodies were pressed together and forehead were rest together.it was perfect.i wanted to live in the moment as long as possible didn't want to think about anything else or future.

We danced for a long time.moving to beats in rhythm.we were looking into each other eyes.she placed her hands on my cheeks and rubbed it slowly .she leaned forward and slowly kissed my lips.I kissed her back .in starting it was slow and sweet,but then intensity grew.we both started moving towards bedroom. We slowly undressed each other,remembering every detail of each other's body.that night we made love many times .its like it was our last chance to be with each other and we made every bit of it worth it.later that night we were into each others arms .i didn't said anything just kept looking in her eyes until I fall asleep after a long time.i never wanted that night to end ,as I was afraid of tomorrow.

Next morning I woke up alone in bed.i sat on bed still half asleep.then my eyes went to the note on the Alex side of bed.I opened it and start reading.

Maggie

I want to say many things ,but I don't know if i can say all of them in this letter.I even dont know where to start,So i am gonna start by saying I love you maggie sawyer. I will always love you. It will never change.Last two year with you were the best of my life.Every moment that i spend with you will always be in my best memories.You were the best girlfriend that any body can have and above that you were my best friend.i never wanted this to end ,I wished that we can be together but maybe it wasn't meant to be.You don't want to leave here, I am sorry if you felt that I pressured you into that.I respect your decision. But I have to go, I hope you will respect mine.I cannot say goodbye to you on the phone or on your face(i dont have that many guts),so I am writing this note.I am sorry, I know this is very cliche.

goodbye Maggie sawyer.

Love Alex danvers.

I folded the letter and looked around the empty apartment. It was almost empty, but wasn't as empty as my heart felt in that moment.she really left me.she was gone.

She left .she left .she left.these words were repeating through my mind.


	4. Ideas

Hey guys .i am really sad about the breakup.i feel so much pain.But i understand the situation they were all in .floriana was leaving ,so writers didnt have much of choice to wind up the story.chyler didnt have much of choice left after it.but the good thing is we got to see a story which was meaningfull and inspiring to many people in so many ways.It was a beautiful journey .I am sad but i watched chyler vedio on the breakup and some other post , the way she is talking about the whole thing made be a feel a little better.she really cares about it.So plz dont send hate comment to anyone (and i am including the showrunners and writers too) because they didnt have much options .They are on schedule so they wrote whatever they felt best for the couple,alteast this way there is still a window open for maggie to return if floriana want to come back.and i dont but my hopeful heart feel that she will come back.

The real reason i am writing this post is that i want ideas for my forword story.Now sanvers can live in fanfiction world(atleast for couple of months),so i am doing my part.So plz comment some ideas.


	5. Cofee shop

Present-

Next few weeks went by .Jessica and Jackson were spending most of their time with me to make sure i was okay, as something was wrong with me.I told them not to worry about me. But it was nice so anyways, it was getting back to normal.I didn't ran into Alex anywhere after that.It didn't bother me anymore that she was back or maybe that's what I told myself.Maybe she was back for me or maybe she was back for work who knows.I didn't want to know,certainly didn't want to talk about it.

I was going to college and i saw the coffe shop as it was at the route so i thought of getting the coffee and something to eat as i didn't have break fast.But there was a risk of getting run into alex again.I heard the grumbling sound coming from my stomach. And decided to go in .

I entered the shop and saw mary at the counter.

"Hey mary" i said with a smile.

"Oh hey maggie i didnt saw you here since the other day" she asked.

" yeah just busy, so anyways can you get me a black coffee and my regular " I replied hurriedly and avoided eye contact with her.

"Yeah coming right away" she knows me so didnt say anything further.

I waited at the counter looking at my phone.after 15 minutes as mary was packing my go to.

"Black cofee , sesame seed bagel double toasted " i heard very familiar voice from by behind, and again you guessed it right.

"Hey alex" i said cursing inside my mind and turning slowly.It was so close

"Hey.getting your regular? " she asked with a smile.

"Yeah i was just... " words were not coming from my mouth.i looked at her but it was more like staring.She was looking beautiful. Actually better than last time i saw her .she was wearing some makeup, and god nobodys rocks those leather jackets than her.

"Hmm well your regular is still gross"

" maybe but well thats the charm nobody forget my special order once they met me"

"Yeah that is the charm. going to college? "

"Yeah i have class in like half and hour. You?"

"Yes i am just taking some donuts for kara.

She moved to counter and asked mary packs a bag of donuts and coffee.

Then looked at me "wanna sit down for your special order".

I weighed my options and this should not be in my options " Yeah sure" i said following her to table.

"So how are jackson and jessica " she asked once we sat .

"They are great hmm.." I said taking a bite from my bagel.

God i really missed coming here

"i dont know but how does mary make these bagel this delicious" i said eating and moaning a little bit. Alex laughed.

"Yeah i dont know i asked her many times but she always says magician never reveals their secrets " She said taking a sip of cofee.i was avoiding eye contact and trying to really focus on my bagel.

"So jackson proposed yet or not"

"You know people are asking me this question since their first year anniversary and i have not change my answer.i dont know what's wrong with them."

"So no" she said

"No they both say in unison that they are not ready .I mean how more ready can you be to marry someone if you giving your answers at the same time .

"Hmm they both are in their own league"she said looking at her coffee mug.

"Yeah i know made for each other , both equally crazy."

"its rare to find that kind of love you know as kara says meant to be "she said slowly looking me in the eyes.

"I know that is very rare to find" i looked at her. slowly my gaze went to her lips.she was wearing lipgloss not to pink, but pink enough.My mind was wondering in a dangerous territory. I blinked my eyes and suddenly i realized what was going on . i cleared my throat.

" By the way how is kara "i asked changing the topic.she leaned back in her chair .

"She is good yeah.. good . she has been promoted to reporter now" she said staring at the table.

"Hmm i read her article the other day, she is great reporter .Speaking of which i read some where that she is dating lena lthuor of L corp. Is that true?"

"Yeah i wish . noo they are friends but my gaydar says they got hots for each other?

"Your gaydar really " i looked at her amusingly.

" I saw when she came to games night both of them were giving each other hearts eyes the whole time."

"What lena luthor came to your games night" i screamed a little and burned my tongue at coffee.

Alex looked at me with concerned eyes "are you okay"

"Yeah yeah i am fine" we both got silent for a minute.

"Woow that will be great . lena luthor dates kara danvers . legendary" i said

"I know.. but they are both stupid and just say we are friend's" she huffed.

"Well tell her to stop being stupid because lena luthor is a catch. I mean she is the ceo of company and well... She is lena luthorrrrr." I said waving my hands to make a point.

"Wow i see other than kara somebody really like lena luthor "she said with a smirk.

"Yes but not in that way" i replied

"She is just not my type"

"Hmm hmm she is not your type "she said mocking .i choose not to answer that. It was silence again.

"So by the way how was your date the other day"

I choked at my coffee a little . "yeah it was good hmm great" i lied not looking in her directions.

"Thats good what was her name again" she replied

i looked at her . she was trying to remain seroius and not to laugh and i realized she was messing with me.

"Ha ha ha ha so funny . you know that i have problem in remembering people name a little" i said defensively.

"Yeah yeah i know that babe"she said .

Wait... My ear heard babe.did she just called me babe.or is that like the other day i heard wrong. Wow her facial expression changed.

We both got silent for few minutes.maybe i heard wrong .she looked at her watch.

"Okk i should get going .its nice meeting you mags." She stood up and start walking towards the door.

" it was great seeing you too alex"i said waving in her direction.i finished my coffee and i was walking out of the shop i said thanks to mary who was giving me a big smile.

I took out my keys from my pockets and was unlocking my door when i heard my name again.

"Hey maggie .. i want to ask you something and you can totally say no" alex said coming from behind.

"Okkaaayyyy" i gave her confused look.

"Can we be friends.i mean if you will say no i will not bother you but i just ... Its just ... I really missed hanging out with you" she looked at her hands . she does that when she is nervous.

Today was really great. It was nice and easy like nothing happened.it wasn't that awkard as i thought it will be in my mind when i run into alex.I also really missed hanging out with alex .But i dont know a voice in my head was saying that this was a bad idea and why that voice was Jessica's , i dont know . So i again weighed my options and again went with wrong one that i probably will regret. I can hear jessica screaming at me.

"Yeah sure why not" i replied with full dimpled smile.

" great ... Yeah thanks"

"Byee." I got in the car . alex went in opposite direction.

I start driving and stopped a little far away and dailed Jessica no.

"Hey i did something bad" i said biting my nails.

"NOW WHAT DID YOU DO" She asked in a tone that my mother used to give me before the beginning of the ending


	6. birthday party

"Hey maggie come on in"kara said while hugging.

"Thanku for having me"

"Oh no problem".she said with a smile.

"Here it's a gift for alex"

"Oh you didn't have to bring this"she said .

"Its okk"I replied nodding my head.

Its been few days since me and alex have decided to be friends,which is going great.we have talked couple of times on the phone and also met one time.It felt really good and natural.jessica told me that I was entering a dangerous territory,but i don't know it felt really good to be just hanging out with her.i also started talking to kara.after the breakup she and I remained in touch as she kept checking on me which was really sweet.

It was alex birthday and kara decided to throw her a surprise party a day early at her apartment.she invited me and I couldn't say no.I thought that maybe today i will tell alex about how I feel.

"So hows reporting "I asked taking the beer she was offering.

"Great! its great .i am new to this so still learning,and my boss is just always on my neck.but I will survive"

"But you have a way with words i read your article.they were all great"

"Oh thanks "she said blushing a little.

"Everyones here?"I asked

"Yeah ...winn james" she shouted and they came towards us.

"Hey guys "

"Maggie ...we havent seen you in long time.how are you"Winn asked hugging me a little tightly.

"I am good .i am good "I said struggling for oxygen.

"Oh sorry"he said apologizing.

"Easy there tiger" james said smiling and also hugging me .

"How are you guys"I asked

"You know just work and all"james said

"Hey everyone sh... Alex is coming"someone shouted from the back.

"Quick switch off the light."kara asked.

I heard two people giggling in the hall.

"Why is so dark in kara apartment."I heard alex voice.

"I don't know "someone replied.

"Hey kara "

"Surprise ..." everyone shouted.

"Oh my god !you guys ...". Alex said delighted ,hands covering her mouth.

But what caught my attention was someone besides her and that she was holding hands with a alex.

"You were also involved in this?" she asked the girl who was looking mischievously at her."

"is that why it took you an hour to drive back here?"alex asked looking betrayed.

"Maybe "the girl said with a grin.

"Hmm hmm.."and with that she leaned in and kissed her.It was just a peck but I don't why it felt like eternity.

My heart sunk in my chest.I was looking between her and the girl and trying hard not to think about the obvious.

Alex came towards kara and hugged her.

She whispered something in her ears.

The girl followed her and also hugged kara.

Then she saw me and came towards me .

"Hey Maggie you are here too.thankyou so much for coming."

The girl looked at me and came in my direction .she is same heights as alex which means a little taller than me.she is brunette and wearing a black pencil dress also wearing mascara to match with her dress.she is pretty, I give her that.

"Maggie this is ... Emily"alex said introducing us.

"My girlfriend"she said pausing for a second.

Emily extended her hand towards me.

"And Emily this is my friend Maggie."I took her hand and tried to smile.

When did Alex made a new girlfriend.we were broken up for few months ,and in those months it was hard for me just to get up from the bed and she made a new girlfriend. She didn't told me about her.I was noticing every thing about emily, trying very hard not to be jealous but there she was, happy and glowing. Her hair was perfect. I know she spent at least an hour on it. Her nails were flawless, even her toenails aren't chipping.

I took my hands back from her.she had a firm grip,and she was glaring at me.

"Okk.. everyone came here it's cake time"kara shouted and caught everybody attention.

Everybody gathered around the table and start singing happy birthday song.Alex was looking at the cake with a big smile.Her face was lit with the candles light .She was looking beautiful.As everyone else was singing the song , I peeked a glance at Emily she was also looking at Alex with a big smile.She's got that look on her face. You know the one. It's the look of being completely in love, and the reason i know it so well is that i once had this look.i think I still have it. I felt an ache in my heart.

Alex blew the candles and cut a piece and shoved it in Kara's mouth, giggling.kara took half of it in shoved back in her mouth.she smeared some of it on her face.then

alex took another piece and offered it to Emily,who gently took her fingers in her mouth.alex looked at me and I smiled back.

"Happy birthday babe"she said kissing her on the cheeks.

That gut wrenching feeling, I was feeling months ago just after the breakup came again.What was I thinking coming here today.this is not where I belong.how stupid was i? Jessica was right .god I hate when she is right (and why is she right all the time).I thought that maybe alex came back for me.wow...I thought that now that she is back here we could be together.

Everybody around me was laughing and smiling and trying to apply cake on each other's faces.

I wanted to cry, and then I felt a warm sensation at my cheeks. I ran my finger at my cheeks and saw a tear.God I have to get out of here.i can't do this.

I picked my purse and ran out of door as fast as I can.i heard the laughter behind me stopped.But it didn't stopped me.i ran towards the elevator and pressed the buttons but it was taking annoyingly lot of time.then I heard someone shouting my name from behind,that voice that I can recognized anywhere.

"Maggie wait ...are you okay".alex asked with concern in her voice.

I didn't turn around .

"Yeah yeah I am fine ...just just I have to go"I said wiping that tear out my face and composing myself as much as I could.

"What happened is everything alright?you just ran out of there "

"Yes I just remembered that I have to check test copies which I have to return tomorrow at college so I have to go"I said still not looking at her.

"No it's not that"

"Please Maggie look at me. whats going on?"

"Nothing "

The elevator came with a ding.

I got in and pressed the button for the ground floor.alex followed me

"Oh my god are you crying?. Why are you crying ?"she grabbed my hand as she saw the smeared eye liner .

"Stop it !okay just stop all of this .."I said taking my hands in an instant from hers.the elevator door closes

She looked at me.

"Everything.. just I don't want to do this okay..i took a deep breath.

"I just ...go inside.enjoy your party.its your birthday."

"You don't wanna do what.i don't understand"she is not letting this go.

"This okay I don't want to ...you left me 6 months ago."I said feeling defeated and looking at the ground,there was again tears in my eyes.

"we were togther for 2 years"

"What"

" Two freaking years.i thought we were going somewhere,that it was real.you and me.cause I never felt that way before for anyone.we were happy.but then you decided to leave me, you broke up with me .you left me with a letter.

And for the first few months i didn't accepted the truth .I woke up every day thinking, that maybe it was just a bad dream,that you will come back realizing it was a mistake .In my head I have gone through many different circumstances that doesn't end us breaking up.i wished every minute that you will come back realizing that you love me .But I guess you never loved me as much I love you.so I tried to get past that .you know to move on.

And then you came back and my all hopes were up again.

That day when we talked at coffee shop I thought this was it.we started hanging out and those feeling just came rushing in.But I was wrong,there is no happy ending cause this is not a movie.you were right it wasn't meant to be.so just please... go inside and just leave me alone."I said taking a deep breath as the gate opened .I walked outside the elevator and start walking towards the main gate.she was still waiting in the elevator.

"Maggie wait" she said behind me but her phone rang.

I walked out of there as fast I could.i started my car and started driving .I saw alex in my rear view mirror. i told myself it was finally time to move on.

It's funny how things never really turn out the way you thought they would.


	7. the talk

When the unexpected happens, it's usually not an issue. We barely notice the difference between our expectations and reality, and we live our lives as if none of it mattered.

We live in our own happy bubble, crossing fingers thinking and hoping for the best.but what we forget about is to prepare for worst.

That's the issue with expectations: We usually overshoot them. We expect more than we're likely to get.

The more you accept that there is always a chance that things won't go the way that you think they will, the less likely you are to be caught off-guard when that happens.

Not all of your hopes and dreams are going to come true, and when one of them dies in front of your eyes, it hurts more than you could possibly imagine.

And if that dream is a future with someone you love, your world will be turned upside down. Seeing the person you love fall in love with someone else can kill you.you feel empty inside.

 **Place- Maggie's apartment**

I was sitting in the sofa with drink in my hand thinking and over thinking, looking at the clock.jessica promised to be here soon,but as always she is not .

its been a day since the incident.how did I end up in the same situation for the same woman twice.i had breakups before and I dealt with them more gracefully then this one.its like god is testing my patience,or worse waiting for my breakdown,which I kinda have in the elevator.

Knock on the door stopped my train of thoughts.

"Coming" I yelled

"You were supposed to be here 1/2 hour ago."I said not seeing the person in front of me,and again you guessed it right.Its Alex

"I do?" She asked surprised.

"What are you doing here" I replied a little harsher than I intended to.

"I needed to see you ,talked to you.Can we talk"

"I don't have anything to say to you"

"Yeah I know you said everything in the elevator" she said jokingly

"Is that supposed to be funny"I said folding my arms at my chest.

"No I guess not". She looked down to her shoes.

"Alex why are you here .I told you to leave me alone.

"Just please I wanna talk to you"

"I dont want to listen" I turned around and closed the door at her face.Wow it was not on purpose .I don't know how I did it.I saw through the peep hole.she didn't expect it either.

"Seriously" I heard her yelling at the door.

"you know what ,I am gonna sit here until you open this door,on the floor .I don't care how long it will take you to open it.oh boy it's really cold.but don't worry about me.I am okay, I am okay.

just gonna sit here on this comphy floor which is very clean by the way.so thanks for that."I heard her blabbing from the door.

I ignored her and picked my phone and called Jessica.

15 minutes later.

Jessica told me that she got held back for some office work so she was not coming for next few hours.

I checked from the peephole.she wasn't there.The yelling was stopped so maybe Alex has gone back home.i opened the door and saw her sitting with Mike my neighbour's son playing car race on her phone.

" You cheated" Mike screeched

" I didn't .I win fare and square"

"Yes you did .you were not supposed to use the nitro ,it was the rule"

"I didn't use it .my fingers accidentally touched the screen .

"Liar" he picked up his toys and stormed out.

"Yeah whatever .you lost I won"she yelled as he went down the stairs.

She turned around.i was staring at her with folded arms with frowned eyebrows.

"What! I didn't cheat"

I sighed and move inside the door.

"please Maggie just 5 minutes .I will only take five minutes.

"Okay talk".I let her in.

"Wow! Your place looks bigger than I remember.you rearranged everything.not quite how i last saw it .I really like your Christmas lighting."she said looking all over the apartment.I was getting impatient.

"4 minutes 54 sec" I said looking at the watch.

"Oh. You literally thought 5 minutes"she said with a Chuckle.

"4 min 52sec"

" you are serious."she gave me a disbelief look.

"Maybe I need 10" .I kept staring at the watch.

"Okay okay geez .from where do I start.ahmm ...I heard what you said to me okay.you are right.

What we had ..me and you ,you know "she said gesturing between us.

"it was real ,it was everything i ever wanted, hell it was more,but I didn't realized that until I lost it.it was my fault.all my fault.

I looked up at her.My expression softens a little.

"But it was... slightly your fault too."

"Excuse me "I scoffed.

"You know...like tiney tiny your fault.like a pinch"

"My fault??"I turned around and sat on the sofa.

"Yes! that night... when we were at your apartment and you know dancing and all ,you never tried to stop me.you never said a word."she followed me to sit on the opposite end.

"Oh really you are putting that on me seriously."me eyebrows frowned.

"No I am just saying that it was like little bit of your fault too.like that time when we were in a grocery line and you nearly punched that kid".

"He was not a kid probably 18 or maybe older."

"Still younger than you"

"He was cutting me in a line." I said defending myself.

" because you were standing in a line of less than 5 item with a full trolly of groceries.

"It was christmas shopping , by the way what were you doing ?nothing just eating the chips."

"Hey ! I was getting rid of groceries by eating them.i was trying to help."

"You know what we are not doing this again. ...you are the one to talk, its not like you accept your mistake easily

"I do admit my mistakes when I commit one"

" when?"

"Like right now."

We both got silent.looking in opposite direction.

After few minutes of silence.

"You would have stayed if I had stopped you?"I asked slowly.

"Yes...i would have."she said looking at me.

"look I cannot undo my mistake,or you know just go back in time and change it, believe me... I would have done it already if I could.

"Really?.you regret going there that badly"I asked

"Hmmm..."

"boston was that bad?" I asked again.

"No..no it was great .It was everything I imagined.

The job ,the people, my collegues they were very supportive,all great.But.. it wasn't worth it.I wasn't happy there."she replied looking at her hands.

"Why didn't you come back sooner then. why after six months and apparently with a girlfriend."

"Maggie ... Emily and I ..we are just.. not what you think."

" You said she is your girlfriend and she looks at you like you are her everything so... yeah! I think you are exactly what i think you are."

"No it's not"she insisted.

"Then tell me what is it"

"She and I ...we met at a bar where I used to go to you know.. forget about you. We hooked up couple of times .From the starting it was just meant to be one night thing but then she got serious.she is nice so we starting dating .it was nice, until ..

"Until what"

"Until she said I love you and I just... I freaked out "she said running her fingers through her hairs.

"next morning I picked up my stuff and took the next flight and came back here."

I was kinda feeling bad for Emily now,but slightly happy about it.

"Oh...!! Why did you freaked out?how long you have been dating"

"About 2 months"

"That wasn't that soon.we also said ours at the same time.

"Yeah but she is not you."she slid a little closer to my side.

"So you broke up with her ?"

"I told her what she already knew.she left yesterday"

Now I was really feeling bad for her.

"Look Maggie I didn't knew that you still had feelings for me or else I would have said something.i didn't said anything cause i thought if you didnt feel the same way I will lose you and I don't think I can survive that again."I just kept staring at her.we were now sitting very close to each other.

"I wish I have done many things differently."she said with a sigh and looking me in the eye.

We both remained like that for a while. Alex came back because she freaked out.she still have feelings for me.I thought how easy it would have been if we both just said how we felt.

"Yeah me too"I took her hand in mine.she smiled.

"And since I am coming clean today about everything ..there is one more confession.

"What"I asked

"I am not proud of that letter.sorry about that too."

"Really?"

"Yeah I just wrote it in like an hour... but I do meant every word in it.. except one."

"And what's that"I looked at her amusingly.

"About... us not being meant to be .Maggie you and I... we are always meant to be. we are two halves of the same person or something like that. you know when we are apart we are not happy."she said touching my cheeks and caressing it.

"Wow! thats really cheesy,and did you just quote desperate housewives?" I Chuckled

"Oh that's where it from?.i thought that I read it some where and it is stuck in my head for days.mehhh... whatever words doesn't matter ,feelings are 100% true and original."she said scratching her head.

We both laughed.

"You know I have done this many times for the past six months"

"When"

"In my head... And It goes differently every time but always have the same ending."

"What's that"i asked .she didnt reply just looked at me with her big browns eyes.Her gaze went to my lips.she bites her lower lips.

"I lo..."I didn't let her complete the sentence and leaned closer, kissed her at the lips.It was slow.But it got a little intense.God I missed those lips.i haven't kissed anybody in the last six months,that was a long time. We scooted a little closer.

i ran my one hand on her thigh and other on behind her neck slowly.Alex shifted a little.. surprised by my actions,and moaned softly into my mouth. "Jesus,sawyer" .we parted and broke the kiss.

"I missed you "I ran my fingers through her hairs and pulled on strands behind her ears.i gave her my dimpled smile.

"I missed you too"she kissed me again.

"Ho ho ho."we both jumped as the door opened and Jessica came in with pizza boxes in her hands.

"Oh is christmas came early this year.cause it's a Christmas miracle?"she yelled the word miracle.

"Okay do we have here .hey alex"she said putting the boxes on the counter.alex waved at her .

"What are you guys doing"Jessica gave a very creepy smile,and now looking at me and ..then Alex and smirking.

"Nothing"alex said moving away from me. Jessica looked at both of us amusingly.But i was not amused, maybe a little annoyed.

"Did I just interrupted you patch up/making out session"

"Yes.". "no". Me and alex, both replied at the same time.

"Well you are not agreeing on the something.congrats it's a first step in a relationship."she replied and moved to kitchen counter.she opened the fridge and took out beer bottle.then she picked the box and moved to sofa and sat next to me putting the box on the table and taking a slice from it.

I kept glaring at her.she took a sip from beer.

"What.i am hungry.i Didn't have lunch"she said eating .I didn't say anything just kept glaring.

"Oh I am sorry... you can have it too alex if you want it."she slide the box towards alex.

Alex remained quite., just passed the smile.jessica picked up the remote from the table and switch on the TV.

I got up and hit her on the shoulder.she ignored me.

I moved to kitchen to bring popcorn and beers.i saw Jessica and alex talking.j Jessica said something to her and she burst into laughter.i missed that laughter.i missed everything about her.she saw me staring and waved her hand.i looked away.

After few minutes i came back and passed one bear to alex .

"Thanks"she replied with a smile.

"Happy belated birthday by the way"I said sitting next to her.

"It maybe my best belated birthday "she replied with a wink.

I scooted a little closer to her and kissed her on the cheeks.

Jessica made gagging noise.

"Oh please get a room."

"shut up" alex and I said at the same time.

Note-how was the story.please leave comments to let me know.i am confused between continuing this story or starting new one.what do you guys think.


	8. the Christmas

Getting back with an ex is never an easy feat.

Sure, the two of us have made this decision and have concluded that we care more about each other than the past.

Is this the right decision? Why do I feel this is worth saving? Is she the one for me? But no matter how right it feel,you're still going to have doubts in the back of your mind. It's natural,i think ...god...i hope so

But apart from that there are still some struggle of getting back together with your ex,like telling everyone about it.Your friends, colleagues .From that everyone ,the most difficult person to tell is your mom.Its difficult because you've already talked so much sh*t about your ex.she was already skeptical in the first place.so now,you have to try and mend your mother's opinion of your ex again.

I thought i will do it during the hoildays.Its been few weeks since we are together ,so we both decided to not celebrate Christmas together this year.And tell our mothers during this.As planned before all of this me ,Jackson and jessica are celebrating christmas with sawyer family.Alex and kara are going to midvale to celebrate christmas according to danvers family traditions.

 **P** **lace- Sawyer's house**

"Hey what are you doing here outside.its chilling"i asked jackson who was standing on the balcony.I passed one beer bottle to him.

It was Christmas eve.we all had dinner then watched movies till mom went to bed.jessica passed out on the couch.

"Nothing "he replied taking a sip from his bear.

" something is off .i can feel it in the air" i said taking a long breath.

"jessica still asleep?"

" yes"he kept looking above in the sky

"what is going on you seem a little off since this afternoon"

He didn't reply.just keep sipping the beer.

"Jackson?"i asked this time stealing his bottle form his hand.

"hey..."

"i will give it back ,if you tell me"He shrugged and then put his hand in his pocket and took something out.

"oh my gooooood.Is that a engagement ring?"i sequealed

"shhhh...quiet...its grandma's.Mom gave it to me this morning. She said that I have her blessing,if i wanna propose to Jessica."

"Wow that's really great Jackson and that ring is really pretty."i said taking the ring in my hands.

It was very simple ring oval cut centre diamond with platinum band.

"So are you going to propose?"handing him the ring back

"I don't know."he replied with shrugging his shoulder.

"What's the matter with you?Have you guys no talked about it?"

"Yes of course we have talked about it. She always says that she wanted to have a house with a backyard you know,and two kids.one boy, a girl.Maybe a dog."

"wow you have talked about that far.Well then propose. its a perfect american dream"i said raising my eye brows.

"I know it's chessy but i like it.Jessica want that since our first anniversary.

"well she watches those romcoms a lot"i said smiling.

"i know.its jessica .i am not saying that I don't want that.We always said it's near in future,but it's been four years,and all the people that i know are going in a forward directions .I mean it's the step in forward directions .find a girl ,get married have kids."he said slowly in a breath.

"Jackson you don't have to propose because everybody around you is proposing.you do it when you are ready.are you?"

"That's what i am afraid of maggie! I don't know if I am ever gonna be ready.I love the things the way they are right now.

"So you are never gonna get married .is that's what you are saying?i am really confused right now."

"No ...I mean don't know.I love her so much and I want those things too.

"Jackson what are you really afraid of?you want the same thing then what's the matter?"i asked folding my arms.

He put down his bottle.

" I am afraid that i will screwed it up all maggie .What if ..if I am not a great husband?what if she realize that it was a mistake. boyfriend is like mehhhh so what boyfriend but ...husband is a real deal its legal,and worst than that I can't have kids."i raised my eyebrows.

"i mean I can have kids...but my kids can't have me.i will be a terrible father.how can i be somebody's dad.I am kid myself.can you imagine me as a dad?"he replied looking down.

"Woh woh...slow down .you haven't even proposed yet and you are thinking about kids.You are like speeding 80 mile an hour."i said putting my hands on his shoulders.

"And what are you talking about,you are an amazing boyfriend and even though I have like zero experience with boys .but I have seen Jessica dating life up close.You are the best she ever had ..."he looked up.

"I am not just talking about your sex life ...which I have no idea but i am guessing.I am talking overall,jackson.I have known you all my life and Jessica for about half of my life and believe me ...when I say this I have never seen two people more perfect for each other. you guys are made for each other.I am jealous of you two,and how you have figured it all out.you make each other happy.I am not going to say more or otherwise I will be stealing lines for my maid of honor speech.so dont say you are not going to be a good husband or dad.you will be a great dad."

He looked up at me and smiled.

"you think so.."

"hmmm.."i said picking his bottle.

After few seconds.

"wait ,you have already prepared your speech?"he asked.

"Yes that's why now you have to propose.i have spend a quality amount of time on this"

" so you are not gonna be my best man ?I thought you will be my best man."

"Do you think you can make Jessica agree for me to be your best man instead of her maid of honor?"i said sarcastically.

"No I don't. please don't tell her that, I even asked you for that."

We both chuckled.I passed him the bottle.

"See your are already afraid of her even before proposal.you will be great husband." i replied by patting him in the back.

"And your secret is save with me."i gave him a wink.

"Thanks."he replied

"No problem.dont worry too much, you will be fine. We are sawyers, we always figured it out .take one step at a time."

"Yeah !one step at a time.i will think about the proposal.But you have to help me."he said hugging me sideways.

"Anything for my brother."

"How are things between you and alex by the way" he asked after few minutes.

"They are good, yeah good.we are fine.everythings is good... "i didnt expected it,so i fumbled.

"...goood"i said again taking a sip of beer.

"Really"he looked at me curiously.

"Hmmmm.."i didnt look at me.

"Cause you used good too many times."

I was quiet.

"Maggie i know that you usually talk about this stuff with jessica.but you can also talk to me .i am your brother.sometimes having a third opinion doesn't hurt.Maybe i can make you look at things at different angle."

I didnt look in his direction.He kept staring at me.

"Okaay okay.ahmmmm..."i slowly begin.

" i dont how if jeesica have told you this or not ,but when we ...were broken up alex ..."i cleared my throat.

"she...was in a relationship.I know that it shouldn't matter because now we are together.But i cant stop thinking about that maybe...i mean ,in those six months i couldnt think about anybody or anything but she was with someone else."

"But its over now.She is with you now."he reasoned.

"I know that its over now but ...its just that part me cant stop thinking that maybe i was more invested in our relationship.That it meant more to me than it ever meant to her."

"If you feel this way then why did you got back together with her then?

I know that he was not judging me but i was getting more annoyed by it.That's why i don't share it with Jackson, he always use logic and then ask me why i don't share anything with him.

"Because its just ...so so complicated."

"Whats complicated?"

"This all ...i dont wanna talk about it anymore..."i start moving inside.He pulled my arms.

"Hey hey.. i am sorry.i am just trying to understand you."

"You cant ...because i dont even understand myself.Its ...when i see her i just ...all the memories of us being together..our happy moments and those stupid feelings ...they just comes in and i can't think about anything else when i see her right in front me.But then when she is not here these insecurity just comes in ...god i hate myself for this."i said feeling dejected now.i know that he was trying to help.

"i am sorry its my falut.i shouldn't have asked you."he sensed the tension in the air.

He speaked again after few moments.

"but i think you should talk to her"

"Yeahhh...right! what i am gonna say to her?"

"What you just said to me."

"I even dont make sense to myself."i was kind of furious now.

"Okaayyyy ...wait its that why you guys are not celebrating Holidays together?

I nodded my head .

"Look maggie do want to know whats the problem here?"

"what?"

"the problem here is that you are carrying a lot of baggage .you are holding to past so tightly that its effecting your present and probably future. Whatever happened in the past three year ,you just have to let it go.If you gonna make this relationship work then you should start from the beginning.Give alex benefit of doubt.if your giving her a second chance then do it the right way.clean slate."

"You mean forget everything ,even the good stuff?"i blinked at me thinking.

"Yes why not?you are thinking about them like they are gone.But you can always make new memories.Its not like you can't have different experience with a same person."

I looked at him for a long second.Since the day we are back together ,we haven't talked about this.Alex and i were together for two years.The break up was out the blue.It took me by surprise and it took me a long time time to be okaay with it.I didnt realise that it still hurt,even after alex was back .You know its true what they say its easy to forgive than to forget.

But jackson was right.I have to let it go,if i want to actually move on.Maybe his logic wasn't that bad after all.

"Maybe you are right.she said that she want to do this right too."i said .

Before Jackson can reply.

"Hey what are you guys talking about?who want to do right?"jessica came rubbing her eyes.

"Nothing" i said

"Okky its getting late we should get inside its really chilling outside." jackson took jessica hand and lead her inside who was still half asleep.

"You coming" he asked as he reached the stairs.

"Yeah give me a minute."i took my phone from my pocket.

"thanks by the way" i yelled.

"Anytime sister." he gave me his dimpled smile.I smiled back.

i called Alex.It rang only two times before she picked.

Hello

"Hey _maggie_ ". from the background i can hear kara talking about some thing.probably potsticker.

"Are you asleep. did i wake you up?" i asked slowly.

"No _no... we were just watching movies.kara is not letting anybody sleep until its midnight.she said that we should say merry Christmas before going to bed._

"Well its Christmas time .#kara time" i said chuckling.

 _you know her.During these holidays season, we don't mess with her ,she is like child on sugar.With danvers pout and energy,full package._

I think she is like that all the time,and thats probably because you let her have a lot of sugary products.

"I _can hear you guys talking about me_."

kara yelled from behindwe both laughed.

 _"so every thing good?"_

"Yeah i just wanted to hear your voice."

"Do _you want me to sing?_ "

"no i think talking would be fine."

"Okkay _then what's sawyer family doing?_ "

"Mom went to bed .we are also preparing for it."

"So _is that why you called me.Problem getting sleep without me Ms sawyer?_ "i can see her giving me a smirk.

"Maybe ...i am kinda missing you.we should have celebrated together."

"I _wanted to...but then you said that we shouldn't so. .."._

"Yeah thats what i actually wanna talk to you about alex...what are we doing?"

"What _do you mean?_ "

"I mean we are together but it doesn't feel like that.you know you and me."

"I _am sorry about that_."

"And that too."

"What"

"Alex,since we are back ,all we do is that you apologize and i listen. You don't say anything you feel to me.This is not us. So from now on,no more apology.i want you to be more open to me ."

"I _am open to you maggie,i am in this full 100%,not going anywhere._ _i told you so"_

"I know that."

"but _i feel like you are the one who is keeping a part of yourself from me, like there is a wall between us and i understand that too.Its hard to trust again and that you will need time.i just... want this to work,i dont wanna mess it like last time._ "

"You will not mess it.Dont worry about that,and its my fault too.I was insecure.I know that i shouldnt be ,but i just cant help it."

"Insecure _about who...emily?_ "she asked thinking for a second

"Yeah..."i slowly replied.

"Oh _Maggie i told you there was_ nothing serious _between me and emily._ "

"Its not about you and emily.its just...that i feel..."

"What?"

"Maybe that breakup hurt me more than it hurt you."

"maggie _... I was a drunk mess during the first two months.kara came to boston and saw me.she was just going to call you...but I stopped her on a promise to_ _be better and quit drinking."_

"ohhh...She never told me about that."i slowly replied and regretting for assuming that she was fine.

"I _made her promise not to._ "

"Alex...i am sorry...

"You _said no more apologies_."

"yeah ...right"i smiled .

After a long pause.

"Hey _its 5 sec before Christmas._ "

I looked at my watch.

".4..3..2..1 .."

"Merry Christmas..."

 _Merry Christmas...maggie_ _"Merry Christmas..."i heard kara screaming through the phone_.

"marry Christmas to you too kara"

"listen alex i want this too...and from now on ...

 _"yeah i know maggie ... I know..."_

"hey maggie" jackson called.

"Coming...I should go.."

 _"Yeah...merry Christmas once again."_

"To new beginnings..."

 _To new beginnings_.


End file.
